Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I don't know how to be a mom

It is late. I was just thinking about the day and how much I love my kid.

I love when we are playing on the floor and she takes a break to rest her head on my leg or my chest. I love when she "fish hooks" my nose with her little fingers. I love when she laughs and my "eat your belly" game.

I have no idea how to be a mom. The first time she took a break from playing to pause and stop being the wild woman she is to rest her head on my chest I was baffled. She was not tired. She was not hungry. She was just resting. And I think she likes me. So I patted her back. And she smiled. And everything was good.

I don't know why she laughs at the eat your belly game. I don't know why she laughs when she sticks her fingers up my nose. But I roll with it. It is what we do.

I know she loves going in the swimming pool. So I love going in the swimming pool. I used to prefer the ocean. But Elle does not like the ocean, she likes the pool. So I like the pool.

I think she may be getting a little tan on her arms, even through the SPF a million organic sunblock I bought her for $32 dollars a tube. I have not spent $32 on myself since the week before she was born, but she is worth it. I don't know if it is bad that she may have a tan, but she is so happy and seems so healthy...and the pediatrician has not yelled at me yet. It is not like I give her baby oil to rub on her belly. And she doesn't eat ice cream...yet. What am I going to do when ice cream makes her happy? I hope blue berries always make her happy.

By the way, a little note to a friend of mine who may read this someday. I don't talk about it a lot because it seems like a long time ago...but my beautiful daughter came into my life after a lot of trying and hoping. I thought it would be easy and I tried to control every situation but I learned that the best things in life are:
a) worth waiting for
b) take some time and are out of my control
c) are given to us when the time is right
d) are worth working for
and e) all of the above.


  1. None of us knew how to be mommies, so we're messing up our kids one first-born at a time. But somehow they turn out pretty darned exceptional.

    I often wonder if people think I have heathens for kids bc my daughter talks about the "Dinosaur Farts" YouTube videos. They're hilarious. If you haven't watched them, you should. And my son babbles and makes fart sounds with his spit and babbling. :) I'm still partial to them! Chips off the ol' block.

    I know what you mean about playtime and rest time on your chest. I took George to the pediatrician today for his 6-month check-up and he was not happy with Dr. Suzy poking and prodding, as Dr.s do. (We love our ped, btw) I picked him up afterward and he snuggled into my neck, drooled all over me, and stopped crying instantly. Dr. Suzy observed that "George knows who his very best friend is" and I was even more the proud mommy.

    Laughing hysterically over dinosaur fart videos with Madeleine, and being drooled on and nestled into by George are what make parenting worthwhile. :) You're obviously doing a great job or Elle would not take the time out of her busy day to stop playing and rest on you momentarily.