Monday, February 15, 2010

Good Advice

This blog may look like it has a lot of advice for a new mom. I don’t want anyone to read this and say…that is how I am going to raise my kid. What I really want it to be is a quick read that moms can relate to and maybe grab one piece of information that helps them get through a day. I think new moms should listen to what people say, consult their pediatrician and obstetrician, ask all their friends and relatives and trust their own gut.

From the second I told people I was pregnant, I received a great deal of advice about EVERYTHING from my weight to child birth to naming to health care and my sex life.

Here is some of the good advice I got:

  • “Let her fuss it out, don’t pick her up the first time she cries.”
  • “Pick her up right away, you can’t spoil a newborn.”

Wait, what am I supposed to do with that??? For Elle’s first month I did not put her down. I held her constantly. I had a lot of help when Elle was born, my mom stayed with me for 5 weeks, so I was able to spend the time I needed holding her. The American Academy of Pediatrics, The complete Authoritative Guide for Caring for Your Baby and Young Child says that you cannot spoil a newborn (page 210 in the 5th Edition).

I guess we will find out if I did the right thing if she refuses to stop sleeping in her crib when she is 45 years old.

  • “Don’t give your kid vaccines.”
  • “Get all the vaccines right away as soon as you can.”

Again, what???

I have written about this before. My husband and I talked to our pediatrician. Our own guts said, we want to do one shot at a time so we can monitor any possible reactions. Our doctor made a schedule for Elle’s vaccines that makes sure she will get everything she needs to protect her as soon as possible. The most important thing is I trust our doctor to do what is right for our daughter. Just two days ago, reports of over 3,000 cases of mumps in New York hit the news. Just when you think, “My kid doesn’t need a shot for a disease that has been eradicated…”

When I was pregnant people told me:

  • “Don’t worry about how much weight you gain, it all comes right off.”
  • “Wow, you are huge.”
OK, thanks. Thanks a bunch. While the first comment made me feel better, it may not be the best advice! I gained most of my weight ‘trying to get pregnant’ and the weight I did gain in the actual 9 months did come off pretty quick. However, I am still a chubsy wubsy and still have people giving me advice on how and when to lose the baby weight. I am working on it. (By the way, NEVER tell any woman she is huge. That is just mean.)

I know people really mean well. Strangers in the grocery store see an obviously pregnant woman or an infant and want to share their own experiences and advice to help. It is with the best of intentions. And so with the best intentions, I politely smile and say thank you and go about my day.

Please feel free to share some of the good advice you have received in the comments section!


  1. If you don't mind me asking how much weight did you gain? I gained 75 pounds. I am having a difficult time losing the weight.
    You said you lost all your baby weight. Any advice would be appreciated.

  2. I gained most of my weight before I got pregnant and my doc had me on a pretty tight leash. I have about 35 pounds to lose before I get back to pre-pregnancy pre-trying weight.

    I walk every day with Elle (bundled up) and eat a lot of eggs and oatmeal. I want to eat healthy for her, but not too heavy.